


The Ultimate Pain

by hellborn



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, Marauder’s Era - J.K. Rowling
Genre: F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Invisibility Cloak, MWPP, Marauder's Era, Marauder's Map
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-14
Updated: 2017-09-14
Packaged: 2018-12-29 22:58:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,699
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12095280
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hellborn/pseuds/hellborn
Summary: He watches. He cries. He falls.(two versions included)





	The Ultimate Pain

**Author's Note:**

> Oh, wow, I wrote this almost two years ago and it's still one of my favorite pieces. It's just so emotional and raw and devastating and the meaning behind both versions are so much deeper than a screen and a keyboard can convey. I'd love to re-write this at some point.

He gripped the branch as he pulled himself up into the tree, a perfect overhang of where they were. Even thinking about them made his stomach churn and his eyes water. He didn't deserve her.

His fist tightened around the branch, anger flooding through him.  
"Ouch." He muttered, wincing in pain as the sharp splintery wooden pieces sunk into his skin. He rearranged the large cloak covering him, so it was under his grip. No more splinters.  
He looked through the translucent material at the couple, they were laughing. Smiling. Talking. Not screaming. They seemed happy together.  
Tears pooled in the corners of his eyes, threatening to spill. He blinked a few times and brushed one hand under his glasses to wipe the wetness away.  
She smiled warmly at him and looked out at the sparkling pond. He took a deep breath and encased her hand in his own.  
His breath hitched as he saw her lean on his shoulder.  
He didn't deserve her.  
She brushed a hand through her long hair, another laugh bubbly laugh emitted from her.  
He brushed his lips across her cheek, and he almost fell from his perch.  
No.  
Reject him.  
But she didn't seem to care what he thought. Even if she could hear him, he doubted she would have stayed long enough to listen to him.  
He didn't deserve her.  
But did he?  
He knew she despised him.  
He watched them for awhile.  
Soon, he could not see.  
The tears had flooded his vision.  
He wished to fall from the tree.  
Fall and die.  
He knew she would never accept him.  
Life wasn't worth living if she would never be apart of his.  
He let go.  
He fell from the tree.  
He hit the ground.

＊

The dark hair that framed his face was disheveled. His grey eyes held heavy bags as burdens, rimmed with red from crying. His thin lips usually pulled into a smirk, were lifeless. He didn't eat. He didn't sleep. He didn't talk.  
They had looked.  
And looked.  
To no avail.  
His best friend was gone.  
He knew the cloak shrouded him from view, as it wasn't with his belongings. The map along with him as well.  
5 days.  
It seemed like longer.

＊

He didn't move. He didn't want to. It was simply not worth it. Even if he wanted to get up, he couldn't.

＊

She was worried. She didn't want to admit it, but she liked him. More than liked him.  
She loved him.

＊

She had pushed him away.  
She thought he did something to him.  
He knew she never loved him.  
She was sweet, perfect, and innocent. She always believed in second chances.  
That had been his.  
Even though he had done nothing.

＊

His large brown eyes held tears as he led his seemingly lifeless friend down the hall.  
He had assured him multiple times, that  
It would be ok  
We'll find him

＊

Her green pointed hat moved as she followed the older man in front her her.  
Those boys were like sons to her.  
She couldn't bear their pain.  
They would find him.  
For his friends,  
His brothers.

＊

He wasn't very aware of anything around him. The hunger and lack of sleep were dull throbs. In the back of his mind. The pain of rejection filled him. He felt worse than dead.

＊

There he was.  
His hazel eyes unfocused and hazy, his dark hair tousled and messy, his glasses slightly askew, his skin a pale looking color, his hands bloody and shaking.  
As he stood and looked at him, he fell to his knees and grasped his body, clutching him like a lifeline.  
The tears streamed from his grey eyes like a waterfall.  
His sobs filled the silence in the cold night air.

＊

He opened his eyes and squinted at the brightness around him. A light snore in the air.  
He sat up.  
Everything was blurry.  
He rubbed his eyes to find his hands were bandaged.  
Squinting through the blur, he found a small side table and made out the dark shape of his glasses.  
Sliding them onto his face, he located the noise.  
His best friend sat in a chair at the side of the bed he was sitting in.  
He looked terrible.  
His black hair messy, bags and redness surrounded his eyes that were closed, deep in sleep.  
"You're awake." A voice noted from his left.  
He turned to face another friend.  
Sandy hair, red rimmed warm chocolate eyes, and a happy smile on his scarred face.  
"Remus." He said, face breaking into a smile.  
He embraced his friend, holding him close.  
The snores stopped and he felt another form wrap it's self around them.

＊

She didn't go near him.  
She didn't want to hurt him.  
She knew she was the reason he had been missing.  
She just didn't know why.

＊

James was back to normal.  
As normal as a broken man can be.  
He had his brothers.  
They loved him.  
For now, that was enough.

＊

"James, I need to do something." Lily whispered.  
He looked at her, his hazel eyes full of hurt.  
She wasted no time, not stopping to think what she was doing,  
Her soft pink lips pressed to his.  
The kiss was urgent, and James was frozen.  
After a second, James responded, kissing her back with fury and passion.  
He was confused, but now he was whole.

＊

 

alternative ending

 

＊

 

He gripped the branch as he pulled himself up into the tree, a perfect overhang of where they were. Even thinking about them made his stomach churn and his eyes water. He didn't deserve her.  
His fist tightened around the branch, anger flooding through him.  
"Ouch." He muttered, wincing in pain as the sharp splintery wooden pieces sunk into his skin. He rearranged the large cloak covering him, so it was under his grip. No more splinters.  
He looked through the translucent material at the couple, they were laughing. Smiling. Talking. Not screaming. They seemed happy together.  
Tears pooled in the corners of his eyes, threatening to spill. He blinked a few times and brushed one hand under his glasses to wipe the wetness away.  
She smiled warmly at him and looked out at the sparkling pond. He took a deep breath and encased her hand in his own.  
His breath hitched as he saw her lean on his shoulder.  
He didn't deserve her.  
She brushed a hand through her long hair, another laugh bubbly laugh emitted from her.  
He brushed his lips across her cheek, and he almost fell from his perch.  
No.  
Reject him.  
But she didn't seem to care what he thought. Even if she could hear him, he doubted she would have stayed long enough to listen to him.  
He didn't deserve her.  
But did he?  
He knew she despised him.  
He watched them for awhile.  
Soon, he could not see.  
The tears had flooded his vision.  
He wished to fall from the tree.  
Fall and die.  
He knew she would never accept him.  
Life wasn't worth living if she would never be apart of his.  
He let go.  
He fell from the tree.  
He hit the ground.

＊

The dark hair that framed his face was disheveled. His grey eyes held heavy bags as burdens, rimmed with red from crying. His thin lips usually pulled into a smirk, were lifeless. He didn't eat. He didn't sleep. He didn't talk.  
They had looked.  
And looked.  
To no avail.  
His best friend was gone.  
He knew the cloak shrouded him from view, as it wasn't with his belongings. The map along with him as well.  
5 days.  
It seemed like longer.

＊

He didn't move. He didn't want to. It was simply not worth it. Even if he wanted to get up, he couldn't.

＊

His large brown eyes held tears as he led his seemingly lifeless friend down the hall.  
He had assured him multiple times, that  
It would be ok  
We'll find him

＊

Her green pointed hat moved as she followed the older man in front her her.  
Those boys were like sons to her.  
She couldn't bear their pain.  
They would find him.  
For his friends,  
His brothers.

＊

He wasn't very aware of anything around him. The hunger and lack of sleep were dull throbs. In the back of his mind. The pain of rejection filled him. He felt worse than dead.

＊

There he was.  
His hazel eyes unfocused and hazy, his dark hair tousled and messy, his glasses slightly askew, his skin a pale looking color, his hands bloody and shaking.  
As he stood and looked at him, he fell to his knees and grasped his body, clutching him like a lifeline.  
The tears streamed from his grey eyes like a waterfall.  
His sobs filled the silence in the cold night air.

＊

He opened his eyes and squinted at the brightness around him. A light snore in the air.  
He sat up.  
Everything was blurry.  
He rubbed his eyes to find his hands were bandaged.  
Squinting through the blur, he found a small side table and made out the dark shape of his glasses.  
Sliding them onto his face, he located the noise.  
His best friend sat in a chair at the side of the bed he was sitting in.  
He looked terrible.  
His black hair messy, bags and redness surrounded his eyes that were closed, deep in sleep.  
"You're awake." A voice noted from his left.  
He turned to face another friend.  
Sandy hair, red rimmed warm chocolate eyes, and a happy smile on his scarred face.  
"Remus." He said, face breaking into a smile.  
He embraced his friend, holding him close.  
The snores stopped and he felt another form wrap it's self around them.

＊

James was back to normal.  
He had finally let Evans go.  
He accepted she didn't want him.  
As much as he despised who she was with, he just wanted her to be happy. She was, and that's really all that mattered.  
If she wanted him, if she came around, he'd take her in.  
Because he'd always love her, even if she didn't return it.  
But, he had his brothers.  
They loved him.  
And he loved them.  
For now, that was enough.


End file.
